Why sex is good for your health

Nothing as much fun as sex can be good for you, surely? In fact, though it's probably the last thing on your mind when you're doing it, intercourse offers a whole range of overlooked health benefits.




As well as satisfying your desires (when done properly) sex can do wonders for both your physical and psychological wellbeing. So next time he tells you he's not in the mood, point him towards the following list of reasons why a session between the sheets is the perfect pick-me-up.


It burns calories

Exercise should be fun, and what could be more fun than a good old roll in the hay? It may not burn as many calories as an hour on the treadmill or 50 lengths in the pool, but - when done vigorously enough - sex still gives you a worthwhile cardio workout. It may sound hard to believe (or maybe not, depending on your level of experience), but sex can burn off up to 150 calories every half hour. So if you are having sex four times a week for around 30 minutes, that's an extra 600 calories you're better off without. If you go at it for longer than this - even better!


It's a natural painkiller

'Not tonight darling, I've got a headache.' How many times have we heard this old cliche (in books, on film and, unfortunately, in real life)? Well, time to put this particular excuse, quite literally, to bed. Studies show that reaching orgasm is a natural, powerful painkiller. As you approach and then achieve The Big O, production of a chemical called oxytocin surges within your body. Oxytocin is known to reduce all sorts of general pain, including, of course, headaches.


It can relieve stress

The fact that having sex regularly makes people calm, relaxed and less prone to stress won't come as a revelation to many. This indicates that a person is in a happy, loving relationship and has many reasons to be cheerful. But the role of intercourse as a powerful stress-reliever is also backed up by recent research. One study carried out in Scotland found that participants who were more sexually active were far better at dealing with controlled, stressful situations than those who abstained.


It helps you sleep

Sleep deprivation can have a devastating impact on our wellbeing, with sufferers at an increased risk of conditions ranging from stress and depression to poor performance at work and disruption to family life. To combat insomnia, experts recommend, among other things, cutting out alcohol and caffeine, watching less TV and taking a bath before bed. Now it's time to add sex to that list. We know that it makes men fall asleep (almost instantly), but research also suggests that the oxytocin we mentioned earlier that is released during intercourse acts as a sedative for all of us. Also - and this isn't rocket science - rigorous sex simply wears us out.


It can boost your immune system

Sex isn't just good, it is also good for you. According to scientists, having sex at least once or twice a week increases production of an antibody called immunoglobulin A, or IgA, which protects the body from infections like the common cold and flu. And while hitting the sack with your partner can leave you feeling a bit dishevelled, it can actually improve the way you look by boosting levels of oestrogen, which is known to add strength and texture to hair and skin.


It can protect your heart

The very thought of sex with someone you are attracted to or in love with is enough to send your heart rate through the roof, so imagine the benefits on offer to your ticker when you are actually in a healthy sexual relationship. A study carried out at Queen's University in Belfast found that sex three times a week is enough to halve the risk of heart attack or stroke. In women, sex increases production of oestrogen, which is known to protect us from heart disease. And there is good news for your man too - another study published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health claims that sex two or more times a week reduces the risk of fatal heart attack, again by 50%, when compared with those men who do it less than once a month.


It improves your confidence

Have you ever been more aware of your body than when in a happy, healthy, physical relationship? There is no greater incentive to stay in shape than spending a lot of time naked in the presence of someone who makes you go all weak at the knees, and this constant awareness of your body image has obvious benefits. You're more likely to exercise, eat well and adopt a strict beauty regime, such as looking after your hair (on various parts of your body), skin and nails. And if you look better, you feel better, thus giving your confidence a considerable boost.


It keeps you young

Sex doesn't just make you feel younger - research shows it can actually hold back the ageing process. When you reach orgasm, the body secretes DHEA, a hormone which is known to improve the health of the immune system, boost cognitive function, aid tissue repair and keep skin looking and feeling healthy. DHEA also encourages the production of other hormones like oestrogen, which as we know can prolong life by improving cardiovascular health. And, as we have already seen, sex is a form of exercise - something we should all be doing regularly to stay looking and feeling younger.


It strengthens your pelvic floor

Kegel exercises, named after Dr Arnold Kegel, involve the contraction and then relaxation of muscles that make up part of the pelvic floor. Experts recommend that all women practise these daily to prepare them for the stresses of the later stages of pregnancy and to treat stress urinary incontinence. To put it more bluntly - they stop you from having a little accident. However, the problem with pelvic floor exercises is that, in order for them to be effective, you need to keep doing them every day for the rest of your life and it can take months before you notice any difference. Fortunately, there is another way to strengthen and tone this part of your core. You won't realise it, but you are actually performing Kegels while having sex, and the stronger they are the higher your pleasure levels


It can fight depression

There is more to this theory than the fact that satisfying sex can put a great big smile on your face. A 2002 study of almost 300 women by an American psychologist found that sexually active participants who were not using condoms as their contraceptive were less likely to suffer from depression than those who did. The experts involved believe that the hormone prostaglandin, which is only found in semen, may be absorbed into the female body, where it helps to regulate her hormones and thus reduce the risk of mental illness.

 http://secretkitche.blogspot.com

The top 10 hobbies that make people fancy you

What do you find attractive in the opposite sex? Good looks? Charm? Wit? A new survey has revealed the hobbies we take up could seal the deal when it comes to finding a partner. Here are the top 10 most appealing pastimes.

The study revealed that nearly half of men and just over two-thirds of women would be more likely to find someone desirable if they had a number of different hobbies, as it made them seem more exciting and interesting.

See which ones made it into the top 10.


Dancing
It probably won't come as a surprise to you ladies that men rated dancing as the most attractive hobby for a woman to have. A whopping 89% of those questioned said that they'd be more interested in ladies who knew their fancy footwork. Time to get your groove on, girls!








Yoga
Yoga closely followed dancing as the second most attractive hobby that a woman can take up. Surely nothing to do with the flexibility involved, eh lads?









Swimming
In at number three was swimming - good for your general health, keeping toned and also appealing to men, so it would seem.










Cooking
It's a bit of an old-fashioned cliche, but women who can cook are still attractive to the opposite sex. Well over half (62%) of men questioned said that being a dab hand in the kitchen makes a woman more appealing.






Pole dancing
Pole dancing has become a popular activity in recent years and not just with women. Nearly half of all the men who took part in the study said that they find the hobby appealing in the opposite sex.








Football
Maybe it has something to do with David Beckham's rise to fame, the WAG lifestyle or perhaps it's just the sight of men in shorts, but football is the hobby that women find most appealing. A whopping 91% of the ladies questioned said that a man with soccer skills would be in with a chance.





Surfing
Surfer dudes also proved popular with the ladies - 83% of those questioned claimed they would give a guy with a surfboard a second look.







Photography
If you're not an adrenaline junkie then fear not, lads! Three-quarters of women said that photography was a good hobby for men to have.







Rock climbing
In at number four for the lads was rock climbing - clearly some women like their men to be daring (not to mention flexing their muscles in tight clothing!).








Whitewater rafting
More good news for the dare devils out there - 47% of women said they liked adrenaline junkies who were into whitewater rafting.

7 reasons men are afraid to commit

While it is fair to say that there are some women who are afraid of commitment, it seems that the phrase “he had commitment issues” is heard a lot more. Therefore we take a look at some of the reasons or excuses why men utter these words on a far too frequent basis.



Bad experience
When a relationship ends, people naturally get hurt, and although guys come across all macho most of the time, they do of course have a softer side to them, and get hurt too. It may not stop them from meeting other girls and dating, but the experience can leave them unwilling to want to commit, at least in the near future.


Oh the pressure
A lot of women put pressure on guys to commit to a relationship. They want to define what is ‘going on’ and aren’t keen on the blurred line between dating and a relationship. The pressure can make some guys concede, while others will buckle and come up with the excuse that they aren’t ready for a relationship.


Peter Pan syndrome
Many guys can’t bare the fact that they may have to grow up at some point and committing to a relationship means that they have to be mature and responsible. They have to give up their time and be selfless. By remaining single they can delay all this.


It scares the.... out of him
It’s a common fear of many men that a women will try to change them. Not only that, but they will be prevented from doing the things that they enjoy doing, like hanging out with their friends or watching the game. The thought of running ideas through a woman first to see if it’s ok before he can proceed will deter him. He doesn’t want to be trapped. In the words of William Wallace “they’ll never take our FREEDOM.”


A bit on the side
Either, you are the bit on the side and he is with you for the sex, or, he has someone else on the side and therefore doesn’t want to commit to either. It could be that he doesn’t know what or who he wants and therefore strings the two along. It’s easier for him than to make a decision, his friends give him the ‘player’ status, and commitment is futile.


It won’t work out
Divorce is on the rise and here in Malaysia it’s rising at an alarming rate. A guy may have the attitude of “what’s the point if it’s unlikely to work anyway?”. There is a lot if risk involved with commitment as you give yourself to the other person and the relationship, and therefore put a lot of energy into it. Many don’t want to risk that unless they are sure that it will work out.


Unable to provide
This may be the most valid of reasons, and it doesn’t just have to be in the financial sense. All of the above mean that they can't give you the emotional support that a relationship should provide, and hence can’t commit. Plus, no man wants his ego shattered when they come to the realisation that they can’t support or provide for their family.

How to be a Happy Couple

Happiness is not the absence of problems or troubles. It’s not about perfection.  It’s about how you manage a relationship with its ups and downs. It’s already given that life is full of trials. You cannot escape them. Despite this fact about life, a number of couples are happy with the kind of relationship they have. They can find the things that they should be happy about. They don’t pay much attention to the things that they don’t have. Make your relationship a happy one.

Happy couples are the epitome of romance.Do you want to be a happy couple who look so hot and happy it makes other lesser mortal couples stand away from their own partners in shame?
Check some tips on how to be a happy couple.

• Respect each other. The very first key for a couple to be happy is having respect for each other. If there’s respect, you don’t cheat on your partner. You give high regard to your commitment.
• Improve your intimacy. You should not forget that intimacy is very much important in a relationship. Without this, it seems like your relationship has no magic. There’s no fire. This could create a gap between the two of you. Kiss each other over and over again. Improve your lovemaking if you are married. Sex is always right there at the top for happy couples .Don’t let the fire cool down. Let the passion bind you closer.
• Be contended. You will never be happy unless you find satisfaction with what you have in your relationship. If you keep on wanting more and more, you will be hard up in finding happiness.
• Remember your special days. Don’t forget the birthdate of your partner as well as your anniversary.
• Be sensitive with the needs of your partner. Understand your partner’s needs and try to satisfy them.
• Be faithful. Never ruin the trust your partner has for you. This will not only make him/ her unhappy but this could lead to the destruction of your relationship. Infidelity is unforgettable and unforgiveable.
• Be appreciative. Compliment your partner. Appreciate even the smallest thing he/ she does for you.
•  Compliment and thank each other all the time.You know your manners, so use them. Thank and compliment each other all the time, be it while passing the plate at an all-you-can-eat or while trying clothes at a store. Be even more complimentary and thankful when others are within earshot. And be most complimentary and affectionate to each other when there are other friendly couples who don’t know how to treat each other with respect.And everyone learns a good lesson about manners and courtesy.
•  Greet each other warmly. When you walk into each other at the end of the day, greet each warmly with a happy hello. And if both of you are meeting at a party or restaurant after work, walk really close to each other, stare into each other with an eye brightening, wide radiant smile and let time stop still for a few moments while saying hi to each other. The people around will hate you for being so darn happy and loving all the time.
•  Be charming when you’re together. Charm isn’t just a trait that’s used to smooth talk the opposite sex. Charm is something that makes you look sexy and admirable. Behave like perfect hosts or guests when you go out together. Stand together in each other’s arms and awe all other couples with your wit, charm and charisma. You’ll definitely be a happy couple. And yes, all other couples will envy you for it. 
•  Indulge in romantic gestures. Buy little gifts for each other now and then to keep the romance alive. Indulge in happy gestures and treat each other with a lot of love and respect, no matter where you are. Always remember to give your partner the first preference, be it while listening to opinions while hanging out with friends or while pulling a chair back for the women around.

Falling in love is easy, but staying in love always needs a bit of work. Just as long as working on a relationship feels less like work and more like fun, you should be just fine. Be one of the few couples who can find happiness with what they have. Enjoy the love you share with your partner.

The secret behind knowing how to be happy is simple. Don’t have an ego in love. If both of you truly do love each other, do you really see a point in trying to get an upper hand? Does it really matter who’s winning or who’s losing? In love, both of you win together and lose together!

http://secretkitche.blogspot.com

Birth Control Is Bad for the Environment

Not making any more people is one of the best things you can do for the planet (says the mom of two), but birth control can be bad for the environment as well. There are some good ways to make your attempts at curbing overpopulation greener, though. Some forms are greener than others, and some are just plain bad for the planet.

Surprisingly, IUDs are among the greenest forms of birth control, since producing them doesn't create a lot of waste, according to this Huffington Post slideshow.

Another surprise? Vegan condoms! Who knew?

As it turns out, regular latex condoms are infused with casein, a dairy derivative. In any case, make sure you toss them out with the trash instead of flushing them down the toilet. And please don't leave them in front of your neighbor's house so they have to step over them to get into their car. Take it from me, that's gross. There are also fair trade, biodegradable condoms.

The vaginal ring, which lasts three weeks and produces less plastic waste than the Pill, is pretty environmentally friendly, or go old-school with a diaphragm or cervical cap.
Which forms are the least green? Well, both the Pill and the patch release hormones into the water stream through the urine of women who use them, but the Pill comes out worse because it generates a lot of plastic waste (all those little compacts!).

The greenest? Probably Fertility Awareness Method, which uses nothing at all. You need to be very aware of when you're ovulating and remain "sperm-free" during that time. It can be tricky to figure out exactly when to abstain from intercourse, and you'd best not be in a life situation where an unintended pregnancy would be a total disaster. It's green, though, that's for sure.

Do you worry about the eco-friendliness of your birth control?

 http://womenhealthtoday.blogspot.com

Single parent's guide

It can be tough being a single parent but there's loads of help available. We've got all you need to know about being a lone parent and where to get help.

Did you know?

• Recent surveys have found that almost 1 in 4 of children live with only one parent.
• In 9 out of 10 of those households the kids are with their mum.

After a break-up

Becoming a single parent can bring up a mixture of emotions. You might be scared that you won't be able to cope on your own. Maybe you're worried about money or you're angry and frustrated about the relationship that broke down.

You might even become depressed and want counselling.

All of these emotions are very common and if you talk to other single parents you'll probably find that they feel these things too.

 In these articles will give some tips and advice for single mothers needing support. 

Advantages For The Single Parent

Greater Control
An obvious advantage is having far greater control over the childs routines, discipline, nutrition and habits than may be the case when living with the father. There are sometimes conflicts over how to discipline the child and that just leads to confusion and insecurity.

 Manipulative Children: Thwarted!
A big problem in some households is the children trying to divide and rule: trying to play one parent off against the other in order to get what they want. This is clearly much less of an issue in single parent households.

Total Financial Control
Having total financial control can be a huge relief if you were with a financially irresponsible partner. You may have less income now, but you're now able to choose exactly how it's used.

Less People to Care For
It's often said by mothers that the husband is like another child in the house, in fact my husband jokes about it! Of course some husbands are more helpful and considerate around the house than others. But all husbands make basic demands on their wives' time and energy. For the single mother they need only worry about themselves and the kids
.
More Time For The Child
Another of the advantages of single parenting is having more time for the child. The single mom is able to focus on the childs best interests without distractions or conflicting opinions getting in the way.

Advantages For The Child of a Single Parent

Leaving The Conflict Behind
Some of the advantages of single parenting arise from a high-conflict divorce situation. The obvious advantage then is that (at least day to day) the conflict is left behind. There is plenty of research to show that it is detrimental for a child to live in a household full of conflict. It is damaging to their self esteem to see abuse take place because they subconsciously blame themselves. It also distorts their view of relationships and therefore reduces their ability to build relationships with others.

Increased Independence
Children of single parents tend to be more independent. I guess that's because there is only one adult to do everything that needs to be done and therefore the children will need to muck in at an earlier age than perhaps otherwise they would.

Two Different Home Regimes
Spending time in two different home situations will teach the child flexibility, resilience and adaptability; all skills which will assist them in adult life.


Decide What You Want
At the end of the day there can be a million advantages of single parenting, but if you're unhappy, they mean nothing. At that point you can decide to take considered action to meet someone for frienship or romance.

 Disadvantages For The Single Parent

There are several disadvantages of single parenting, but there are ways to overcome these with some thought, planning and organisation. The situations of single parents vary greatly: it may be that you are divorced, widowed or never married. Your baby may have been planned or unplanned. Here are some disadvantages that are common to most single parents:

Lack of Support
One of the disadvantages of single parenting is lack of support. Mothers with parters or husbands have support in parenting, even if that's only for part of each day. They have some backup. When you're a single mother you don't have that backup there every day. If you're lucky you'll have family nearby who support you, but if not what do you do? A good source of help can often be your local library; they will likely be able to give you information about statutory provided support for parents, and voluntary organisations. Also you can do an internet search for "single parent support" looking for sites within your country and I'm sure lots of helpful sites will come up.

 Too Much Pressure and Stress
Another of the disadvantages of single parenting is pressure and stress. Not having enough support can lead to a feeling of being under pressure and this will cause you stress. Motherhood is a demanding role and feeling that you have to do it all alone can lead to overload. There are many strategies you can use to deal with stress: among these are relaxation techniques, going for a walk and exercise.

Financial Pressure
Another of the disadvantages of single parenting is financial pressure. In the modern world and the expectations that most of us (at least in the Western world) have about our lifestyle, it is imperitive to have two incomes coming into the household. Everything costs so much and the kids have high expectations; wanting this toy and that computer game. This can put incredible pressures on single parents who tend to have severly constrained finances. I was living on government benefits while I was a single mom and was only able to run a car with the financial help of my parents with tax and insurance. Children of single parents I guess need to learn to enjoy what they do have and all you can do is try to teach them that attitude. Leading by example is the best way to get this message across. I sincerely believe that being grateful for what you've got is the first step towards getting more.


Child Care Issues
Another of the disadvantages of single parenting is childcare. This can be a big issue for single parents. Parents in couples have the advantage of being able to share childcare if their working hours permit it. Others are able to use grandparents as a childcare resource. If you have to use professional childcare it can get expensive. In the UK the government will give you child tax credits if you work at least 16 hours per week. You can claim up to 80% of your childcare costs back up to certain maximums depending on how many children you have. You could get together with other moms and set up a babysitting circle where you each exchange babysitting credits.

Limited Social Life
Another of the disadvantages of single parenting is the limiting effect it can have on your social life. Even as a married mother your possibilities for socialising change. It's good to develop frienships (if you haven't already got some) with other moms and do stuff together with the children. This can work really well, especially if the kids are similar ages. You can take it in turns who hosts the group at home, or go out to a local park or play area. That way you get to mix with other adults without the childcare headache.

Difficulties Balancing Children and Work
For any parent balancing children and work can be a problem, but for single parents this can be especially difficult. Again it's the issue of childcare that's flexible and affordable. You may be able to look into the possibility of flexible working, or working from home part of the time; or you may have to work part time as a compromise.

Loneliness
Another of the disadvantages of single parenting can be loneliness. It can be lonely being a single parent, but as I mentioned above the best remedy to this is to meet up with other moms You could also sign up for an adult education class that interests you or join a club. If you feel you would like to find someone special I can personally recommend dating services as Barry and I met through one. When going on a "blind" date there are certain precautions you should take to ensure your safety:
~Choose your location carefully: somewhere public in daylight.
~Do not get into their car.
~Make sure you tell someone where you are going and what time you expect to be back.
~Don't give away any personal information, except perhaps an email address.

 

Help your child get a good night's sleep

Ask any new parents how they're doing, and you can guarantee that within 30 seconds, the conversation will turn to broken nights. So just how much sleep should you be able to expect?

Birth to 6 months

Newborns don't know the difference between night and day, and often baffle their parents by sleeping for long periods during the day, only to be awake for hours at night. Also, new babies often wake because they need a feed, as they only have little tummies.

In her book, The Complete Sleep Guide for Contented Babies and Toddlers (Vermilion, £9.99), Gina Ford suggests that babies who weigh over 10lb are putting on enough weight each week and following her routine, may sleep through the 'core night' (11pm to 5am) from 6 weeks. By 10 weeks, her plan is that babies start to sleep from 11pm to 7am.

Certainly by 3 to 6 months, your little one will hopefully sleep for reasonably long periods through the night. But if she's determined to keep you both awake, how do you reclaim your nights?

Chireal Shallow, of Naturally Nurturing sleep clinic (www.naturallynurturing.co.uk), says: 'To help your baby feel secure, recreate the conditions of the womb. Swaddle him, just like he was snug inside you, and make sure his Moses basket is cosy. If he's warm and sleepy in your arms, being moved to a cool mattress can be a shock.'

'To settle him, put a hand on his chest, lean down and put your cheek next to his, then make a 'shh, shh' sound. When he stops crying, stop all of these. He'll learn you're there for him when he's upset, but that he can go to sleep on his own when he's calm.'

6 to 12 months

By now your baby's tummy is big enough to enable him to sleep for around 11 hours at night without waking to feed. If he's still waking frequently for food, it's time to re-think your feeding patterns. It may also be that he can't settle himself, and needs your help to doze off again.

Your baby's old enough now for you to be able to introduce sleep training to get him into better habits. The aim is to teach him how to get back to sleep on his own. Methods include gradual withdrawal (slowly moving further away in the room as he drifts off to sleep) and controlled crying (leaving him for gradually increased periods of time before going in to reassure him).

An expert's view

Caroline Deacon, author of Babycalming: Simple Solutions for a Happy Baby (HarperCollins, £8.99), says: 'It's important to remember that, at this age, your baby isn't waking to be naughty, it's just that he can't help it, for whatever reason.'

'The strategy you decide on for settling your baby will depend on the reason for waking. So play detective and look at what's going on during his days and nights that make it difficult for him to sleep well at night. Common problems at this age include: a baby not getting enough to eat during the day; a sensitivity to new food; pain from teething; too much sleep during the day or a nap too late in the day; and bedrooms being too light or too stimulating.'

'Keep a diary, and read through it with someone else - a GP, health visitor or another mum. If you're very tired, it's hard to see things clearly, and an outside perspective may pinpoint the problem.'

By Siobhan O'Reilly