While it is fair to say that there are some women who are afraid of commitment, it seems that the phrase “he
had commitment issues” is heard a lot more. Therefore we take a look at
some of the reasons or excuses why men utter these words on a far too
frequent basis.
Bad experience
When a relationship ends,
people naturally get hurt, and although guys come across all macho most
of the time, they do of course have a softer side to them, and get hurt
too. It may not stop them from meeting other girls and dating, but the
experience can leave them unwilling to want to commit, at least in the
near future.
Oh the pressure
A lot of women put pressure
on guys to commit to a relationship. They want to define what is ‘going
on’ and aren’t keen on the blurred line between dating and a
relationship. The pressure can make some guys concede, while others will
buckle and come up with the excuse that they aren’t ready for a
relationship.
Peter Pan syndrome
Many guys can’t bare the
fact that they may have to grow up at some point and committing to a
relationship means that they have to be mature and responsible. They
have to give up their time and be selfless. By remaining single they can
delay all this.
It scares the.... out of him
It’s a common
fear of many men that a women will try to change them. Not only that,
but they will be prevented from doing the things that they enjoy doing,
like hanging out with their friends or watching the game. The thought of
running ideas through a woman first to see if it’s ok before he can
proceed will deter him. He doesn’t want to be trapped. In the words of
William Wallace “they’ll never take our FREEDOM.”
A bit on the side
Either, you are the bit
on the side and he is with you for the sex, or, he has someone else on
the side and therefore doesn’t want to commit to either. It could be
that he doesn’t know what or who he wants and therefore strings the two
along. It’s easier for him than to make a decision, his friends give him
the ‘player’ status, and commitment is futile.
It won’t work out
Divorce is on the rise
and here in Malaysia it’s rising at an alarming rate. A guy may have the
attitude of “what’s the point if it’s unlikely to work anyway?”. There
is a lot if risk involved with commitment as you give yourself to the
other person and the relationship, and therefore put a lot of energy
into it. Many don’t want to risk that unless they are sure that it will
work out.
Unable to provide
This may be the most
valid of reasons, and it doesn’t just have to be in the financial sense.
All of the above mean that they can't give you the emotional support
that a relationship should provide, and hence can’t commit. Plus, no man
wants his ego shattered when they come to the realisation that they
can’t support or provide for their family.
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