Parenting is not the easiest job in the world. It’s a 24-hour job and it can get exhausting.
There are times that I really wish this parenting job came with a
training manual or a how-to book, especially when the stress really hits
the roof. I don’t want to “screw up” my kids, but do believe that with
my underlying hope to do the best that I can, that even if I do mess up
once in a while I will hopefully be forgiven.
It wasn’t that long ago that I was a kid myself and yet there are
times I just have no idea who these little people are or what they’re
thinking. It’s funny being on this side of it with the added stress of
adult responsibility piled on. I am certain there have been more than a
few handful of times that I have not approached a conversation with my
kids in the best way and I have a feeling there will be a few times
more. You would think that communication would be simple, yet it’s so
complicated and even more so when you’re trying to raise a child to be
the best they can be.
Nagging
Every morning I seem to need to remind
my son to refocus and finish his breakfast. There is a big time crunch
and I find myself nagging him to finish his food. Turns out, this is not
really a great thing. According to
Time, doing so can compel someone to do the opposite and can teach kids that
reminders will come, so no need to track time themselves.
.
Being Short With Replies
One of my biggest peeves I see in
parents is this idea that children must comply simply because you said
so. Saying things like "because I said so" don't teach your children the
"why" other than "I am telling you what to do". I see that as a lack of
respect and kids should have our respect. Take the time to explain why
you're asking them to do what you're asking and reserve your stern voice
for when it's really necessary.
Talking Down
Kids are smarter than some people give
them credit for. You don't need to dumb down your vocabulary or talk in a
'baby voice' to get them to listen. Kids learn well by hearing others
talk and dumbing things down for them is
kinda insulting.
Busy Doing Something Else
Kids like to feel like they're
important, and it's important to let them know that as well. If you're
talking to your child, put down the phone and really hear what they're
talking about.
Talking Too Much
According to
LifeHack,
research has shown that human brains can only old onto 5-9 items at a
time for the average person. This is a big reason why kids seem to not
listen when we talk in large chunks when we're giving instructions or
forget something. Breaking things down for them and keeping instructions
simple will have a better result.
Using Guilt
If you're trying to encourage your child
to pick up their toys or to get ready to go out to the store, avoid
using guilt tones. According to
Psych Central,
kids are not born with empathy, but learn it through how parents show
it to them. This is why trying to guilt your child to seeing "your
point of view" is not going to be the most effective.
Threatening
The goal of raising our kids should not
be to raise children who comply, but think for themselves. Threatening
your child to get them to do anything can damage self esteem and can be
quite damaging. According to
The Doctor Will See You Now,
threatening your child to comply, "can shake the foundation of security
and well-being that you represent. It opens up the possibility that you
will not be there to protect and care for them."
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